Gift Ideas?

Well, Christmas is only 12 days away! It's crazy how fast time flies, it feels like it was just the beginning of August to me. Not that I'm complaining, I love Christmas and being able to spend time with my family -- especially since this will be my last Christmas at home for a while.

Fortunately, Devil is waiting to see if his request for RA is granted or not, and so he has a good chance of coming home for the holidays! I'm thrilled about this, because it would be the last time I get to see him before leaving for boot camp in February, of course. But who doesn't want to spend the holidays with your loved one? Being cuddled up, drinking hot chocolate, and watching Christmas movies are definitely some of my favorite things to do.

But with Devil coming home, I wanted to get him a Christmas present. We already agreed that having him home is the only thing that we both really want, and that nothing else is needed, but I don't want him to be the only one without any sort of gift on Christmas Day. So I was thinking. I don't really want to buy him anything huge because he more than likely won't be able to take it with him (at least for a long while) and I don't want to get him something generic. You know, the typical male gifts such as cologne, clothing, pocket knives, technology, video games, that sort of thing.

I was thinking more along the lines of something crafty that means a lot more. I was thinking about putting together a children's book that contained the story of how we met and cute events that have taken place during our relationship. This would be done with construction paper, string, and drawing super cute stick figures. I was also thinking that I could put together a mixed CD of songs that remind me of him, or maybe getting one of those photo frames with tons of spots to put different pictures and everything. But I was wondering if maybe you guys had any other ideas of some kind of gift that would mean a lot more than one you just went out to the store and picked up. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!

I don't know what's wrong with me lately, but I can't seem to stay happy. It seems like I want to talk to Devil more than he wants to talk to me. I'm the one that has to keep the conversations going, or else he'll just stop talking. He'll text me and say 'Hey babe' and then it'll be an hour before he texts back. He'll tell me we're going to skype later on, and I get all ready and then something always comes up. And when he does actually talk to me for more than a few minutes at a time, it always gets interrupted by something.

I know he's at MOS School. I know I'm not his top priority and I won't ever be as long as he's in the Marine Corps. I just feel like crap because I miss him a lot more than he misses me. He's surrounded by Marines and he actually has something to do, so maybe that's why he doesn't miss me as much. It just hurts my feelings a little bit when I tell him that I miss him and all he has to say back is "I know".

I hate that I'm so attached to him. All I can think about is when the next time I'm going to be able to see him is... I'm not even thinking about myself going through boot camp and it's only about two months away now. I hate it. If he's not missing me, why should I have to spend so much of my time missing him? I even told him 'It's alright though, I don't miss you that much anymore', just to see what he'd say, and he was like "That's good!". How is that good?

As much as I want to stop missing him, I can't. And I hate that he has so much power over me and my feelings. But I think I'm going to try and stop thinking about him so much, or sitting around waiting for him to text me... because now I know he's not thinking about the same thing. This probably sounds crazy, but I don't really know the right words to explain it. I'm just in a really weird mood and I hope it passes soon. I just want to leave for boot camp already. Then I'll have other things to do and think about, besides him.

Do You Ever Miss High School?

Tonight I have to sit through my sister's basketball game and I'm dreading it.

Ever since the fourth grade, I was on the basketball team. I spent all summer in the gym practicing with just a few other girls who were just as committed as I was. We went to team camps, and played on travel teams, we did fundraisers, we were always doing something for basketball. Even when school started and it wasn't basketball season, we'd still have open gym and conditioning to prepare for it before it started... and even after it was over, we were back in the gym and working at it again!

When I got to high school I was put on the varsity team during my freshman year, and I played four years of varsity -- which is kind of cool to say I guess. My senior year I won MVP and got an honorable mention, so I was pretty proud of myself.

But the very last game that I ever played in was this past March, and it was a close one. My two best friends who were also seniors played as well, and we were dreading it because we didn't want it to be over. Well, when the final buzzer of the game went off, I felt like dropping to my knees and balling right there in front of everyone. Basketball was my life, it had been everything I'd worked for up until that point. And now it meant nothing.

We cried in the locker room and even while I was driving home, I had to pull over because I was balling. Ever since then, the thought has been in the back of my mind of how much I miss it... but tonight, I have to watch my sister's first basketball game. I'm going to have to sit there in the stands and see what it feels like to not be able to play. I think it's going to break my heart and I'm going to hate every second of it. Someone please shoot me now.

But, I have to go. I don't think I'll be around much to see my sister play basketball at all during her senior year, so I have to support her while I can. And I know that now that I'm done with high school, it's time to move on to something bigger and better. I mean, I guess I'll be playing on Team America now that I'm joining the Marine Corps. But that still doesn't help the fact that I miss basketball, I miss my old team, and I miss high school.

Let's hope this game goes by fast.

And I know a lot of you guys are out of high school, if not all of you. What is the one thing you really miss the most about it?

Skype Date

The title basically says it all. Devil finally got to his MOS school late last night and after texting and calling me on and off all day. Once he got there, he called me and told me that he had a laptop already and I asked him how much he paid for it. $1000. I'm not surprised. Computers or anything with technology is Devil's thing. He knows all about them, he had a class about them for two years... so he knows a good computer from a crappy one, so I wasn't going to tell him how $1000 for a laptop seemed a little pricey to me.
It was already close to midnight where he was, but we got on Skype for a few minutes just to test it out. He went a little crazy with the webcam.

This was the first time we saw each other in a long time and it seemed like we were both a little camera shy at first. We kept smiling at each other but we didn't really have much to say. Unfortunately, it was cut short and Devil decided he should probably get some sleep since he had to be up in about four hours... and it was going on 4 a.m. for me.

Today he had to do some admin stuff at MOS School and he told me that his classes aren't going to start up until January! So I'm really hoping he'll be home for Christmas. We've got so much stuff to do. This is going to be the last time I see him until I'm a United States Marine, which is still five months away! It's going to take a lot of hard work, with the two of us being in the military, but we're ready for it. I wonder if I'll have time to find a cheap wedding dress while he's home. I know we're going to end up with a small wedding at the court house, but that doesn't mean we can't get pictures taken somewhere nice. There's a pretty nature reserve place out here in Michigan about five minutes away from my house, and I think it would be cute if we went there and took pictures while I was in a wedding dress and he was in his Dress Blues. Granted, it wasn't snowing or rainy... which it is about 60% of the time here.

Oh, and you know those photobooths in the mall where you get a strip of like four pictures? I really, really want to go to the mall while we're both all dressed up and get one of those. I think people would think it was cute, and I'd feel so special! I told Devil about that a long time ago, and he pinky promised we'd be able to do that. We'll see, I suppose!

I think we're going to have another skype date tonight, hopefully a longer one since he's all settled in now! I'm excited. It's weird. I don't wear regular clothes all day, I stay in pajamas and have my hair up and everything. And when he wanted to skype date, I had to do my hair and put on clothes and fix my make up... at midnight. Who does that? I guess us Military girlfriends/fiances/wives do. (:

I Have Good News and Bad News...

I got a phone call a little bit ago from Devil after he graduated MCT. I swear this boy is going to give me a heart attack one day.

Devil: Well, I have good news and I have bad news.
Me: Oh God.
Devil: Want to hear the bad news first?
Me: Yeah!
Devil: *laughs quietly* ... I bought a bag of beef jerkey for 13 dollars.
Me: OH my god.
Devil: I know, that's way too much, right?
Me: ... I'm going to kill you.
Devil: Want to hear the good news?
Me: ... yeah.
Devil: We had this like, mixer thing, for MOS'es yesterday. And I don't know if this is official, but I was talking to the dude and uh, since it's so close to Christmas and New Years, the school probably isn't going to pick up until January.
Me: Really?
Devil: Yeah.
Me: So like... what does that mean?
Devil: I'm not sure when, but we're probably going to get RA. I'm going to come home.

                                                       That conversation just made my day.

On a side note, let me know if you guys want me to make a military couple pixel for you! It only takes a few minutes and I think they're cute to have and post on your blog! Check my page for them! 

                                                                  

Just Another Day

Today was a pretty slow day for me, but I think I managed to get a lot accomplished. First of all, it's monday and you know what that means. I linked up to the Monday Military Blog Hop for the first time -- so if that's why you're here, you should comment on this post and let me know so that I can follow you! c:
I love meeting new people and I can't wait to meet more military girlfriends/fiances/wives.

Also, I was messing around on MS Paint today and I think I'm going to start making these cute little pixels for people who request them. I made a page about it, so if you want one to post somewhere on your blog, check it out and request one. It doesn't take long to do at all, and I'd be more than happy to make one for you.

Other than that, I got in touch with my old high school basketball team and we're trying to put together a game where all of the great players of the past (myself included) play the varsity team of this year (not to mention, my sister is on the team), so that should be fun. I really miss playing basketball -- especially since it was my life throughout school. It's weird not having to go to practice, or spend all summer in the gym. So I'm excited about being able to play with my old team mates one more time before I take off to boot camp.

Speaking of boot camp... I need to start running more. It's been really cold outside, not to mention it's been snowing. And I don't think running on a treadmill feels the same as running on pavement. I'm not too worried though, I've always been in decent shape. I think that no matter how much you prepare for boot camp, you still won't be prepared enough. I'm not worried about how prepared I'll be, but I think I should at least be less unprepared, if that makes sense. It's a whole new level of physical training that I've never experienced, but once the initial shock of it is over, I think I'll be okay. I'm getting ready to cut out the soda and sweets I've let myself enjoy for the past few months. Time to get back to H20 and healthy foods.

As far as things with Devil go, I should be able to hear from him again tomorrow. He got his orders today and so hopefully he was told he got Recruiter's Assistance and that he'll be coming home for Christmas... but one can only hope! I'll keep you guys updated!

Dear Santa

Today was an emotional day for me. Here's why.

I woke up this morning to a text from Devil, and since I'm not used to that at all I was very pleased... even though he decided that I would be awake at 0600. I'm even three hours behind him, and I was still tired -- but I'm not complaining! I can sleep when I don't have the chance to talk to Devil. He got to call me on and off for a while today, and it was good to finally be able to ask the questions that I've been wondering this past month while he's been off at MCT (Marine Combat Training).

First of all, I asked him if he thinks he's going to be able to come home anytime soon... or at least before I leave for boot camp in February. Being fresh out of MCT, Marines don't have any leave built up -- so there goes that option. So we decided that there's only two things that can happen. One, he could get Recruiter's Assistance and come home to work due to his MOS school being backed up (which is actually a good possibility) or he might be able to come home for about four days on Christmas if his MOS school allows it. I'm really doubting that either one will happen, just because I don't want to get my hopes up.

I asked Devil if he was going to tell me if he was going to be able to come home or not and he said no, and I think that's kind of bitter-sweet. It sucks because I won't know if he's coming home and I'll keep wondering about it, and if he can't -- it's going to suck. But it's nice at the same time because even if he can't come home, I'm still going to be walking around my house on Christmas day, all dressed up and waiting for my Marine to walk through my door to surprise me. There will at least be a possibility, in my mind, of him still being able to come home. It'll give me something to look forward to... which is better than having that thought shot down instantly and forcing me to look past the holidays for the next shot I have at seeing him.

Another thing I asked him about us not having the chance to get married before I leave. As you know, I leave in February, and things aren't looking too great right now. Devil's MOS school is 8-10 weeks long, and if it's backed up by 3 weeks (which there is a very good chance of) he won't be able to make it home in time to see me before I'm gone. And once I'm at boot camp, there's going to be very little communication between us. I'll be going through training for the next six months and that means no time to get married. My main concern was that if we weren't married, how would we be stationed together after I was finished training? Or what if he got deployed while I was still in training? There's so much more to think about when not only your husband is in the military, but you want to be in the military yourself. Of course, he had no answer to these questions and simply said "We're going to make it. We're a team. You and me. I know we can do this." And don't get me wrong, it was adorable and nice to hear, but I'd still love an actual answer to stop myself from worrying about it so much.

After we got that out of the way, we talked a lot about Marine stuff. We usually get pretty caught up in it most of the time. He said he can't wait to see me in some desert marpat cammies, he claims it'll be 'hot'. And we've decided that we need to take a picture of the two of us in our cammies, with our covers on, and our arms cross, back to back. That's going to be one awesome picture, that's for sure.

Unfortunately, the day went by all to fast when I was able to talk to Devil. There were a lot of adorable things said and it makes my eyes fill up with tears at just thinking about it. I think I'll be able to talk to him again within the next couple of days, or at least that's what I'm hoping. But for now, all I can do is hope that sometime in the near future, my Marine is going to show up unexpectedly, anytime or anywhere, and surprise me. Until then, I thought I'd write a little note to a certain someone to improve my chances of my wish coming true.

Dear Santa,

When I was little, I thought Christmas was all about getting presents. Now that I'm older, I just want to be able to spend it with the people that I love and care about, especially since I'm leaving for boot camp soon. I don't want anything this year, except that maybe, if it wasn't too much trouble, a certain Marine might be home for me to spend it with? I know it's a lot to ask for, but it's really all I want.
                                                                                                                                        Sincerely,

                                                                                                                                        One lonely girl

the longer the waiting, the sweeter the kiss

So I have decided to turn to this blog as a way to vent and be able to escape from the real world. I have found that the job of being a military fiance is probably one of the hardest out there. I know that there are a lot of ladies out there who have gone through countless deployments and years spent away from their military man, and I can't say that I know what that feels like yet, but I'm surely about to find out.

My fiance is a newly made United States Marine, and we met during our senior year of high school, and we've been inseperable ever since. I've stuck with him during the three months he was at boot camp, and even flew out to see him graduate. Unfortunately, he's gone again for more training and I'm stuck back at home. But there is something a little different about our military relationship, something even more rare than your typical military man and his wife. I'm going to be apart of The Fewer and The Prouder in just a few months. I'm going to be a female Marine. I leave for boot camp sometime in February, but the way things are looking... my fiance isn't going to be able to come home and see me one last time before I leave. That means we'll be apart for almost a solid nine months.

I think that's almost worse than deployment (minus the whole being in harms way bit, for sure). He's finally going to be able to make phone calls home and be able to talk for the first time in months, and I'll have my right to do so taken away at almost the same exact time. He's going to be surrounded by his Marine buddies and they're going to be talking to their girlfriends and wives, and my fiance is going to be stuck writing letters. I feel bad for him, because I know what that's like. I don't have any doubts about him remaining faithful to me, he will. I just hope he has an easier time going through three months without even hearing my voice a single time than I did. He's strong though, stronger than I am. Maybe that's why I admire him so much.

Anyways, at the moment I'm waiting for a phone call from him sometime today. I really hope he gets to call... I have so much to tell him, and ask him about. It's tough to figure out things when we're so far away. I'm supposed to be getting married before boot camp! Ugh. The military life is definitely not for the weak, that's for sure.